Hope
by Ducky2196
Summary: Because we are all still waiting for that 'hope' that Derek Haas was telling us about so here is my idea of the reconciliation we are all waiting for. RATED M!


**Because we are all still waiting for that 'hope' that Derek Haas was telling us about so here is my idea of the reconciliation we are all waiting for. **

**Definitely rated M**

**Enjoy! :D**

**Hope**

Matt sighed as he rolled over on his office bed, it was late after 3am and the house was quiet, no doubt every single one of them were asleep and he wasn't. There he lay, alone and sad, letting his mind wander over everything that had happened over the last few months, from Shay's death, to the explosion that almost cost Gabby her life, to asking her marry him, to her joining the fire academy, to them starting to fight, to her walking away then to him sleeping with Beth. It was all a nightmare, every single thing that had happened over the last few months that had pulled them both apart. He still loved her, regardless of what had happened and what and whom he had done there would be nothing that would ever stop him from loving her. He just didn't know if they could ever get back to that place.

They had started to get there, even after he slept with Beth, before Gabby had found out, they had started talking again, laughing like they had been for so many years, slowly bringing them back to the best friends they had been but he still wanted her, he still wanted it to be her that he woke up to every morning, to be the one that would be by his side whenever he needed something. But as he lay there he realised that that's all she wanted. When she was having issues at work, she wanted to be able to come home to her fiancé and talk about the hard day she had but he just couldn't leave work at work and _not_ be her lieutenant. It was hard they both knew that but he seemed to be the one that had given up before she had, he had even been the one who had said, out loud and right at her, that it maybe was too big for them. He groaned as he remembered the look in her eyes, the pain and hurt that shone there when she looked at him and also the fear. Yes they had been fighting quite a bit, they had lost what made them special, the looks, the smiles, the little touches and kisses they shared and now she was scared of him leaving her.

And yet, she had left him. She was the one that walked out of their apartment but he was the one that didn't fight for her, he didn't chase after her, he just let her walk away. He hated himself for that, it was the stupidest thing he had ever done, even stupider than not kissing Gabby at the Christmas party but he hadn't gone after her and now they were apart and it sucked. Simple as that, being away from her sucked, he hoped that maybe one day she would look at him the same way she used to, knowing that he was no doubt looking at her the way he used to.

Groaning loudly Matt rolled from his bed and stood, his sock covered feet hitting the ground softly and he made his way into the bunkroom. He was right everyone was asleep, every single one of his men were asleep, which left the empty bunk that sat outside his office, Gabby. She wasn't there, which was odd because he had seen how tired she had been during shift, her eyes dark like she hadn't been sleeping much, he hated not being able to hold her close when she yawned but he couldn't. Moving through the bunkroom, Matt walked into the common room, expecting to find Gabby on the couch, watching TV, which she did when she couldn't sleep at night.

But she wasn't there, the firehouse was quiet, it was unnerving to him. That was until he saw the flicker of a shadow in the garage, the light of the apparatus floor shining when it shouldn't have been. Stepping slowly over to the double doors, Matt glanced in and there he found Gabby standing by the side of Truck 81, her fingers running over the numbers on the side of the door, her head dropped slightly. Pushing the door open slowly, Matt was quiet as he made his way further onto the apparatus floor listening as she heard her sigh deeply, her fingers dropping to her side heavily as she shook her head and moved to the front of the truck, no doubt sitting against the bar, he had found her there a few times before.

Moving closer he leaned against the side of the cabin of the truck, he crossed his arm, smiling gently at the woman he loved sitting in front of him. "You alright?" He watched as she jumped suddenly, not having heard him coming, she was shocked to have him standing here. He watched as she looked up at him for a moment, contemplating what she should say or do but she was too tired to fight against him, she sighed.

"Yeah I'm alright, just tired I guess. Too much thinking…" Gabby looked away from him, her eyes focussing on the outside of the doors, the snow falling slightly in the night. She shouldn't have been surprised when he took the seat next to her, there was a small space between them but they could both still feel the heat coming off them both.

"What's on your mind?" He knew it was a loaded question but there was a time when she would seek him out just to vent her frustration over something that would probably have made him smile as she ranted but that was different now and he wanted that back. He watched as she shrugged, not really wanting to tell him what was going through her mind but she missed having him to talk to.

Dropping her head into her hands, Gabby ran her fingers through her hair, shaking her head she spoke, "God I don't even know anymore. Everything is different, everything has changed. Shay isn't here anymore, I miss the kids, Its been so long since I have seen them, Antonio barely see's them now, I don't even know if I made the right decision about becoming a fire fighter, lord knows that it had cost me so much." The last of her sentence was quiet Matt almost missed it.

He knew she was still struggling with the loss of her best friend, he could see it in her eyes that there were days she wished she could run to her friend and hug her or tell her something exciting or sad, or that she just needed a Shay hug or a Shay kick up the ass, because that's what Shay was, she was the one who could tell Gabby she was being crazy or tell her everything was going to be ok. Swallowing deeply Matt decided to tell her everything that he had been thinking for a long time. "Gabby, Shay would be so proud of you right now, you are an amazing person and you are turning into an amazing fire fighter. You are doing such a good job and I know that I couldn't be more proud of you right now so I can tell you that you did make the right decision about joining the academy. As for Shay, she is always with you Gabs, you knew her well enough to know what she would say if you needed it, so you just have to think about her and I promise she will be there. I'm sure the kids miss you too, you just gotta get the chance to spend time with them."

Gabby glanced up at Matt, she missed him being there for her, missed the fact that he could just talk to her and make her feel better. She wanted to mention him in her rant, wanted to say his name but she didn't want him to leave her side right now because she was feeling a little better having him close and she knew that if she said anything about _them_ he would walk away from her. So instead she just smiled, "Thanks Matt. You always knew how to make me feel better…"

As the words tumbled out of her mouth she knew she couldn't stop them and she knew that he had heard them, the look in his eyes tell her that he had understood what she was telling him. She missed him, she missed being with him and she missed having him by her side. Sighing again, she looked away, "I'm sorry Matt. That wasn't fair but I do appreciate that we can still have these chats, they really do mean a lot to me."

Matt just smiled, his hand sliding over slowly to touch hers, it was comforting to have him so close to her. "I'm always here for you Gabby, you know that."

The sharp look in her eyes as they turned towards him made him question if she knew that or not. "I promise you Gabby I am here for you…" He squeezed her hand once more, trying to get her to understand what he meant. There was silence between them for a few moments before Gabby pulled her hand from his forcefully and moved from him, standing and making her way around the side of the truck, she needed to get away from him.

But Matt wasn't going to let her get away from him again; he wasn't going to let her walk away from him again. Standing quickly Matt rushed after her, his hand slipping around her upper arm as he stopped her in her tracks, his chest inches from back, she could feel his breath on her neck. He could feel her shaking in his hand, he just wasn't sure if it was because he was so close to her or because he was furious with him. Either way it was an emotion directed towards him and it meant that she still cared for him in some way.

They stood there for a few moments, silence again taking over them, Matt taking a step closer to her, wanting to be as close as she would let him. "Matt…" He loved the way his name slipped from her lips in that soft voice, unsure of herself and of what she was doing. "…please don't, it's not fair…" but she didn't move away, enjoying having him so close to her again, she didn't want to pull away.

Taking another step closer to her, his chest against her back as his hand slipped from her arms to rest against her hips. "Why isn't it fair Gabby?" His voice was soft, he wanted to keep her close, so he held her there knowing that she wasn't going to have the strength to move away from him.

"Because I don't want to let you go again…" and with that Matt spun her quickly, holding her close he ducked his head and let his lips crash against hers, revelling in the feeling of being able to kiss her again, he had missed her so much and now he was getting a second chance, a second chance to do things right, to not blow it like that had done months ago. The stood together for moments that felt like hours, their lips battling for dominance in the way only they knew how. God how they missed each other.

After moments of standing Matt could feel her becoming slack in his arms, the emotions she had been holding onto for so long becoming too much for her to hold on to anymore. Turning her slowly, Matt as thankful they were so close to the truck and so he used the side of the truck to hold them both up, his body pushing against hers, letting her feel exactly how much he wanted her, how much he loved her.

Gabby slipped her arms from around his neck, one resting against his back, the other dropping to his pants, slipping into the back pocket to pull him closer. His hands moved over her as much as humanly possible, he hadn't had her in his arms for a very long time and he wanted to remember everything about her. Tightening his grip on her hips, Matt let his left hand slide under her shirt, her shudder causing him to shudder at the feel of her skin against his hands once more. He needed more, pulling his lips away from hers, Matt let them slip to the place just below her ear that he knew sent her crazy, which he was thankful as still there. "Oh God Matt…" her words tumbled as she groped for him, trying to bring him closer.

But as soon as it started, Gabby tried to pull away, _needed_ to pull away. "Matt…please stop…" the last word halted his movements suddenly, he pulled away looking down at her, the look in her eyes telling him that it was more than just her saying no. "I can't do this if this…" she waved her hand between them, "…is all it is. Matt I love you too much for that-" but he didn't let her finish, his lips crashing against hers once more before pulling away.

"Gabriella Dawson, this is never just going to be what this is. I want you…I want to wake up to you, I want to marry you and I want to have you walk back through _our_ apartment door with your bags. Come home…" Gabby watched Matt closely for a few seconds before she reached for his head, bringing his head back down to hers, kissing him with more passion that she realised she had. Taking a step closer to him, Gabby made sure her back was off the rig door before she reached behind her, her hand finding the handle, pulling it gently having it open behind her.

Upon hearing the sound of the rig door open Matt pulled away and smirked down at Gabby, whose eyebrow was raised in just the way that he loved. They both knew what she was getting at, the same thing that had happened when she had opened the back door of the ambo to find him laying on the gurney, waiting for him to join her in a little fun, which they had done, granted they had to get back to it after ambo received a call just as they had started, but they had loved the fact that it was so dangerous.

Within an instant, they were both jumping into the back of the truck, the door slamming quietly and in a flurry of hand their shirts and pants hit the foot well of the back seat, leaving them both in their underwear and staring at each other, their breaths heavy and their eyes fill of passion and love. It didn't take long for them to be laying against each other with nothing between them anymore, his pale skin against her dark skin.

Leaning down again Matt placed a gentle kiss against her lips, "Are you sure about this baby?" but the smile that grew on her lips was enough for him to know it was exactly what she was wanted. He felt her lift her left leg and wrap it around his waist, wanting him where they both wanted him to be. And so he did, slowly he leaned forward, not wanting to hurt her, it was slow, when he felt her tense around him he pulled away, his eyes finding hers instantly to make sure was alright.

She knew he was worried about hurting her, there was a part of her that knew he knew that he was the last person she had been with and that had been months ago, he wanted to be careful but right now, how happy she was, she didn't want careful, she just wanted him. "Please Matt…I need you…" and with that Matt started to move inside of her, feeling how much she wanted him by the way her body was reacting to him, how easy it was for him to move inside of her because she wanted him so much. With his head on her shoulder and his lips attacking her neck, Matt started to move faster, loving the fact that he had her back and she was never going anywhere again.

It didn't take long for her right leg to wrap around his waist, joining her left as she pulled him closer, not letting him go far from her as he slid in and out, hitting every spot that he knew would drive her crazy. "Gabby…" her name slipped her his lips, her stomach tightening as he moved faster, their lips finding each others instantly as they coil inside of them both tightened, both on the brink of losing themselves in each other.

In a mix of moans and groans, gasps and curses Gabby's nails suddenly bit into Matt's back and his speed increased to an insane level, sweat pouring over both their bodies as they reached the edge. With one last gasp and a 'Matt' tumbling from her lips, Gabby pulled Matt over the edge, shattering around him as Matt followed instantly, groaning in to her ear as he continued to thrust into her a few more times, both their bodied trembling in each other's touch.

Slowly, they both came down from their highs, Matt staying inside of Gabby for as long as humanly possible as he stared down at her, the same look of complete happiness in her eyes the same as he had loved to fall asleep next to. Running his hand over her face, pushing the sweat drenched hair from her face Matt smiled, "God I've missed you…I love you Gabby…" He whispered again as he pulled out of her, both of the groaning as he did so.

They dressed slowly, each of them too busy sending glances or touches in the other's direction but once they dressed, they sat in the back of the truck, Gabby coming to Matt's side, straddling his hips in a way that wasn't seductive, but loving. Her hands ran over his face, smiling happily at him. Slowly she leaned down and touched her lips with his, "I love you too baby..."

With one more kiss, he smiled back, "We will do this Gabby and we will make this work and I promise you it will be amazing. I want you to come home and I want to put that ring back on your finger where it belongs."

"Yes we will…"

**Thoughts? Not really sure how I feel about this so let me know? :D**


End file.
